Thursday, April 07, 2011

How are you?

There are many times that I have been asked, "How are you?"  When checking out of Walmart, seeing an acquaintance, and sometimes even when talking to family and friends. 

Most of the time, I answer with  "hanging in there" or "doing okay."  I often wonder though if they truly want to hear the truth.  I honestly don't think so.  What I would love to say is "I am horrible!"  I hurt all the time.  I've had a distended stomach for so long now that I can't even remember the last time I fit into a pair of jeans.  Everywhere I go people think  I'm pregnant.  It's easier to just say yeah, I'm having a girl and the name is Brooke.  (which is what I would do if I actually was prego)  Anyway, every day I am in pain.  My back hurts from my stomach and I am honestly quite miserable.  My anxiety that I fight so hard against is rearing it's ugly head.  I have taken so many tests I feel like a pin cushion stuffed into something very small.  Only a couple months ago, I had a gallbladder attack that had apparently been going on for months and months.  Three days after my gallbladder got taken out I had a D & C because of other problems that I am not going to get into right now.  I am done.  I am done smiling and pretending that I am coping so well.  For tonight I am just going to feel a little sorry for myself and for one night, not pretend that everything is okay.

Signing Off........

OK I'm sick, where's McDreamy, or McSteamy or Karev, or hell even House.  They'd have me fixed in about an hour!


  1. Jenn: One day I actually DID tell someone EXACTLY how I felt! No joke. She stood there and stared at me with her mouth wide open. I then said, "You asked." And walked away.

    I don't ask UNLESS I REALLY want to know!

    You might like to read a post I did on my other blog called the Spoon Theory:
    It's about chronic pain.

  2. I loved the spoon theory!! It's so spot on and everything I want to tell people!!!!