Wednesday, June 08, 2011


Ok, I need to release some steam here!  Last season my husband and I along with another "friend" decided to coach our son's soccer team.  They didn't have a coach so we stepped up to the plate. We were all brand new to soccer but figured between the three of us, we could figure it out.  We all went to the training and got our licenses and took all the safety courses.  At the 1st coaches meeting, we were told that we only had 3 kids when we needed at least 13 for the team.  I worked with a board member and we pieced together a team one by one.  It took a lot of phone calls, emails, texts, and even going to there houses to deliver paperwork.  Now, not once throughout this whole process did Coach G (we will just call him that) do anything. He was upset and like a spoiled little kid threw tantrums.  It would have been nice to do the same but somebody had to suck it up and do what needed to be done.  From that point on, guess who got stuck with everything?  Good guess....ME!!!!!  I went out and purchased everything we would need. (pinnies, goalie gloves, balls, ball bag, cones)  We were starting from scratch so we needed just about everything. When (G) asked me what we still needed to buy I told him the first aid kit and a clipboard.  A couple days before the first game, I asked him if he bought it and he said no.  Really??  Do I have to do everything?  Apparently I did.  There is so much behind the scene work that you might not expect when coaching.  We had to make a roster, print player passes, along with getting all the parents paperwork, we had to fill out game day cards from the ref every game, assign snack and concession stand duty, and that's only the beginning.  I even went so far as to buy them trophies and make and hand out certificates for player of the game.  Throughout all this, I didn't say a word.  I just did what needed to be done.  That is just how I am.  Apparently to (G's) wife, I am such a horrible person, if you looked at the email directed to me.  We tried to get a team  for the fall, but once again, it was me making all the calls, texts and emails.  We couldn't make it work, we just did not have enough kids.  (G), my husband and I were supposed to have a meeting with the president of the board.  We were there but the president was running late.  (G) stormed out and said I am done with ********.  (the town we live in)  Once again he left it up to me and my husband to do all the dirty work.  (G's ) son and our son were going to be moved up.  After he stormed out and said he was done, he expected us to fight for his son's place on the other coaches roster?  When he said he was done, we thought that he was done.  It was not our responsibility to speak on his behalf.  He lost that privilege when he walked out on the coaches, his team and his son.  He chose not to be at that meeting so his choices and opinions were not heard.  I can and will only do so much for someone until I have just had enough.  That moment was when he deserted us.  Apparently, this made us horrible people, but I must ask, Is it any better to let a "friend" carry all the weight of the team on her shoulder.  Is it fair to back out of something that they were only going to do if both the kids did it, and not notify you until 5 minutes before the practice was starting that their son backed out.  Was it fair that while I was concentrating on making this team work, he was out sending his son to other try-outs?  If this other league took his son, he would have left us high and dry!   Throughout all this crap, I have never said one word about the lack of effort, he put forth, but I will be damned if someone is going to tell me that I was such a bad person, and that I stabbed her in the back without putting my boxing gloves on to defend myself.  Decisions were made at the meeting, and if instead of storming off like a 2 year old, he had chosen to stay, his son would not be in the position that he is in now.   

Venting is now over.......

1 comment:

  1. Jennifer, first let me apologize for not responding sooner. My son graduated from High School and I’m busy planning his party plus I took on a few more hours at work (not that I WANT them, but my boss needs some help).

    My husband coached my youngest son’s Basketball team one year, and while we had all the necessary supplies, etc., it was still stressful. You are dealing with this like a “champ”, imo. I totally agree that you aren’t responsible to speak for anyone except yourself. “G” is responsible for himself. Also, all coaches are supposed to contribute evenly and if they can’t, then they shouldn’t be one. In short, you’re actually better off if “G” doesn’t coach at all. He sounds quite immature and would probably make the entire soccer season miserable.