Thursday, January 17, 2013

Trying To Keep My Head Above Water...

Well, I've been writing post after post about gun control, and dictator  President Obama, but I am going to change it up.

Dysautonomia is a living hell.  Sorry, but I feel to crappy right now to mince words.  I want to take a simple shower without a "chaperone."  I want to eat a meal without it destroying my stomach for the next couple days.  I want to stand up and not feel lightheaded. By now I know that we always don't get what we want but it doesn't mean that I can't have a little pity party now and then.

Since Saturday I've been sick with a yucky stomach bug or something close to that description.  I haven't eaten in 6 days and still have no appetite!   Yes, I have been drinking (that is getting drilled into me).

Amidst all that we left our home behind this past weekend.  It breaks my heart that we had to put the kids through this, although fortunately they were able to stay at the same school for the time being.  We were extremely lucky to have family that could take us in.  I know that there are many families that don't.  So we are all trying to adjust to a new house in a new town and still somehow maintaining what we would consider a normal day.  It's not easy and ten times harder with me being sick.  I keep telling myself that it could be worse, but my heart is having trouble accepting it.  I feel like I am in the middle of a tornado and it's spinning around and no matter what I do, I can't get on my feet.  Things are happening that I have no control over and that is one of the hardest things I deal with.

"We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking only to learn that it is God shaking them."    Charles West

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