I was feeling a bit discouraged tonight and tried to put it into words...
A Day With Dysautonomia
My tears, they fall down like rain,
I try so hard to hide the pain.
My broken body, tired and bruised
My spirit, my hope so cruelly misused.
Acceptance seems so hard to find
Limits and sacrifice consume my mind.
I long for sleep to end the sorrow
Another day, another tomorrow.
Gravity my enemy, salt my new best friend
Mixed signals to my organs, my defective brain sends.
Blood pressure, too high or low
Heart rate, too fast or too slow.
Light headed and dizzy
Simply by standing,
Walking a few steps
is incredibly demanding.
My chair, my refuge
Just a few feet away.
My comfort yet my jail
I will spend most of my day.
Existing in a vessel
that I can not control.
It takes a toll on my body
and it tortures my soul.
With each new treatment
I give it my all.
Yet with every turn,
I face another wall.
Normal is not a word I hear,
Life passing by is one of my greatest fears.
Happy, laughing, smiling,I loved to play
Angry tears fill my eyes, when I think of those days
I don't look in the mirror, I'm too afraid to see
the empty, sad face staring back at me.
Yet deep inside, my faith is strong.
It refuses to quit,and gives me the strength to go on.
A silent prayer to get me through the day
A deep breath and I am on my way.
Little steps are all I can make,
But I find out that it is all it takes.